Tak Jadi La Delete.. Hahaha

Halo halooo

I changed my mind. Aku x jadi delete blog. At least for now. Ni semua gara2 aku go through few of my previous post and suddenly rasa "eh sayang la pula nak delete terus.. apa kata biaukan dulu" Wah dan dan log in nak taip new entry. Haha berbolak-baliknya hatiku kan.

Aku baru habis tengok dokumentari si Shane Dawson buat pasal Jeffree Star. Dayum so tak sangka Jeffree py masa lalu sangat.... GELAP... Weh serius HITAM DAN GELAP.. Memikirkan betapa kaya dan suksesnya dia skarang, seriously aku x sangka dia depressed mcm tu skali time dia remaja.

Siapa tak kenal Jeffree Star sila google dulu. Yg penting skarang ni dia owner cosmetic brand, product yg colorful (but mostly pink), ada lambang bintang tu product dia lah, Jeffree Star. Bole jumpa kat Sephora. Dia billionaire. Wears GUCCI probably every day, riding fancy cars, living in a freaking huge mansion.. Making millions in a month. God knows how much money she/he owns. Kaya weh. Kaya nak mam.

Tapi setelah aku tengok video Shane pasal dia, aku ada different perspective pasal dia. Rasa mcm.. She/he had been through a lot. No one should been through all that. The fact that she/he still stands and lives, and works hard to pursue his/her dreams, is truly an inspiration. Aku rasa blom tentu seseorang akn survive dgn that much of pain and depression. 

Jeffree ni dia nyah la senang cerita. Badan dia penuh dgn tattoo. And sebenarnya all that tattoos bukan je sbb ada makna tersendiri bagi diri dia, tapi tattoo tu semua cover scars kat badan dia. Dia dulu masa remaja slalu ada suicidal thoughts, habis badan dia kelar2 dgn mcm2 bnda tajam. Some of the scars were so deep, ada yg smpi muscles dan tulang, you can see them on his body if you look closely. Dia tunjuk kot kat dlm video Shane tu I was like oh my goodness.... Serius speechless. Siapa sangka di sebalik all the fancy stuff she/he always shows on media, rupanya..

Hurmm... It made me realize that you can never judge people based on what you see. Aku rasa mcm urgh orang yg claim dia ada depression tp sbnanye hanya mengalami perasaan sedih, they are so wrong, they don't have any idea what depression really is, and how bad it can affect people's lives. Kenalilah characteristic apa2 penyakit pun sebelum claim ada sakit itu ini, apa lagi hebahkan kat social media for whatever reason pun. Tengok mcm Jeffree, dia xpnah cerita kat siapa2 pun sebelum ni pasal scars tu even kat boyfriend dia, sbb dia takut people will use it against her/him, to hurt her/him. Padahal dia patut dapatkan sokongan moral yg kuat waktu tu, patut dapatkan pertolongan (consultation ke apa..). So sad.  Can't imagine how much pain yg dia rasa.

This is empathy guys. Siapa takde rasa empathy, psychologist kata kemungkinan ada tanda2 anda seorang sociopath hahaha

Aku x tau lah, jadi emo pulak bila tengok real life stories mcm ni.. But in a good way lah kot, bkn emo rasa nak tumbuk org ke apa.

Siapa interested pergi ah search channel Shane Dawson kat utube, cari video pasal Jeffree Star.

Tido ah. Da nak dekat pukul satu pagi. Heh